"Nicole, are you free?"
"Actually I am in the middle of something, are you okay?"
"No. Can I call you?"
ANOTHER text? This is the fourth crisis that day. I want to throw my phone through the wall, or at minimum shut it off completely. But I can't. This person needs me. I am a lifeline. What will happen to them if I don't answer? It doesn't matter that I haven't eaten in hours, that I just got home from work, and that my head is pounding – they need me. I take a deep breath. It feels like a truck is on my chest.
"Yes I am free. I am here. What do you need?" Silently, I cry. I'm giving my all. What about what I need?
I am not tooting my own horn when I say I am a giver by nature. I love being needed, I truly feel a calling to help. It is part of my career in holistic health, it has been my role in relationships and it has been a part of my identity. This may seem like a redeeming quality, but without proper boundaries it can be a curse.